15 April, 2014

I realized earlier today that, after this weekend, I’m comfortable referring to myself as a bassist. Not a “bass player,” not “someone who plays bass.” I’m still learning, yes. Always will be. But I held my own this weekend.

The best moment, though, in the midst of a shining stream of them, was when I made St. James Infirmary happen, and then watched (and participated) as the river carried away better musicians than I, for a nice, long while.

Next time– well, there will be a next time.

11 April, 2014

It’s a terrible thing, staring at yourself in the mirror and wishing– If only someone would appreciate me for this body, and just deal with the rest.

My recent ex always seemed faintly horrified when I used the terms ‘this’ instead of ‘my’– this flesh, this form, this figure. But it’s not really mine, is it, when I see it so much less than the people around me? I feel it more, for certain, but even then perceptions are deceiving.

I am an adamant proponent of the feminist idea that being in a public space does not make my body a public space.

But I want it to be a shared private space, nonetheless.

Hello again, abyss.

Catching up – warning, NSFW images

3 July, 2009

Alright, since I have about two hours before I can actually accomplish most of the stuff on my to-do list, let me fill you in on what I’ve been doing, besides laying odds on the next celebrity to kick it.

How about a photo essay? If you’re not following me on Twitter (see the little bar to the right), you’re missing out on most of my inane goings-on, as well as the occasional interesting photo. Let me clip the rest off here, so you don’t have to see any pictures if you don’t want to. Reminder, some are NSFW.

Follow me, below the goddamned fold.

Read the rest of this entry »

Celebrity Death Bingo

3 July, 2009

Oh god I’ve been way absent. The past few months were kind of rotten, a little good sprinkled here and there. Not much cooking to report, sadly, since that is an indicator of my general happiness. Working on that, which of course requires a heaping dose of morbidity (of the non-medical kind). So I present you with:

Celebrity Death Bingo!

That’s my selection, at least. If you’d like me to send you the Word Document so you can create your own card, just drop me a comment with your e-mail address. If you’d like to tell me I’m going to hell, don’t bother, I’m already aware. If you have any editing suggestions, just let me know!

I’ll get around to making another post eventually.

Wordle is my new best friend.

4 February, 2009

I thought this was really cool:

The Garden of Eden in Early Christian and Jewish Exegesis

Those are the 200 most popular words (excluding common English terms) in my Honours in Religion Thesis, “The Garden of Eden in Early Jewish and Christian Exegesis”.

For Megan

4 February, 2009

A poem written quickly in response to her challenge. Hopefully it suits. The title will probably change.

On Any Night
I listened to you all night
when we met
telling stories under
cheap paper party lanterns
and drinking red wine

when you spoke you looked
into my eyes too long so
I bent my head back
to the underbelly of the leaves
smiling so you’d know

that my heart was racing
when you kissed the corner
of my lips and touched my neck
I looked at you and moved
away towards the house

filled another red plastic cup and
took it into the bathroom
with a word to the hostess
not to worry, I sat down
on the tub and thought

my mind rushed forward, easy
I could see us together
for a time and you know
it would be so good
I tipped the wine into the sink

because it takes some time
some practice but
I’ve learned that running
means never having to say
I love you

I’ve been remiss…

4 February, 2009

In posting here, mostly because– well, to be absolutely honest I am co-authoring a blog elsewhere. I don’t quite want to give this one up, though. I’m just less motivated to post when I don’t have to try to keep my numbers up with someone else’s.

So I’m taking a brief break from here until I can get back to the basics of this blog– cooking, roller derby, and sex. Or something like those.

Of course, I’ll need to clean my kitchen for the first, and, well, get laid for the last. But I’ll post soon on derby, since that’s the only one of the three that I’m doing these days. See you soon.

Actually, I guess there is one story I’d like to relate, that’s been pestering me for a while now.

I have a new job since last I posted– one of the reasons I’ve been remiss. It’s a proper nine-to-five, so I don’t have every other week to just fuck around on the internet.

I make no secret of the fact that I work for an abortion provider– I am proud of all the work I do, which includes basic medical services as well as abortion services. I help treat women from all economic backgrounds, races, ages, even genders. That’s right, we had a man come in a few days ago for his annual Pap smear. But that’s not my story.

A few nights ago, I was at derby practice. One of the girls was recently hired as a Pilates instructor, and invited us all to her first few classes, which were being offered free. I told her I couldn’t make it on Thursday, as I leave work late that day. Mind you, it is no secret where I work. She said that there was also a 1pm class on Saturday I could attend.

“Oh, I can’t make it, I have abortions all morning.”

I said this casually, not going for the twisted-humor laugh I occasionally pull out. And immediately some of the girls started looking at each other, and one of the leaders said, “Yeah, you could have just said you have to work. You didn’t have to put it like that, it makes me uncomfortable.”

That’s right, I could have just said I had to work– but that’s not what came to mind. The simple fact is that I am busy well into the early afternoon every Saturday with abortions. That is not a dirty word. That is a basic outpatient procedure which is, in all honesty, safer than carrying a pregnancy to full term. And in a group of liberated, empowered women, I thought I’d be safe saying that. The woman who voiced her objection is even a lesbian– maybe she’s uncomfortable because she doesn’t think she’ll ever have to worry about it.

But the fact is, according to the Guttmacher Institute’s research at least 50% of American women (even lesbians!) “will experience an unintended pregnancy by age 45, and, at current rates, about one-third will have had an abortion.”

That’s right. Every third woman you see on the street, statistically, has had or will have an abortion. And the only thing that makes it a shame is your perception of it.

Women who have abortions do so for a number of reasons, and if any one of them is valid, they all are. I counsel women every day from every walk of life who need our services aborting a pregnancy that they cannot envision keeping. And they are clearly not alone in numbers.

But they are alone because of the stigma of abortion.

I know, definitely, that at least one woman on my team has had an abortion– a close friend of the “uncomfortable” woman. She knows it too. And statistics say that even if she doesn’t feel concerned (though we do have lesbians come in for abortions, either through rape, one-time “mistakes”, or even wanted pregnancies that they find they cannot complete), one of the women sitting on either side of her has or will use abortion services.

And I couldn’t help but look around the group of women and wonder which among them sat there in silence while the others spoke about their “discomfort” with my simply mentioning my work. Just imagine being them, in this group of strong women where we’re encouraged to be ourselves and be tough and most of all to be connected with one another.

How isolating must that feel?

That’s why I got into this job. Because I do not want women to feel alone, no matter their backgrounds, no matter their reasons. Finding out you’re pregnant changes your life, and everyone deserves support, no matter what choice you make.

On that note, I’ll make sure to post something fun and funny about sex later.  Or maybe grad school. Good to see you again.


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